


Love is a Fool Star

by Thistlerose



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Friendship, Light Angst, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship, Secret Identity, Yuletide 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5511311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlerose/pseuds/Thistlerose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set shortly after the end of s01e08 ("Hostile Takeover"). Kara turns to James for advice and a strong shoulder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is a Fool Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [htbthomas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/htbthomas/gifts).



"Sooo," said Kara, once James had closed the supply closet door quietly behind him, "we have a problem."

James looked confused. "We're not waiting for Winn?"

"Um, no. I just want to talk to you. First, I mean. Since you have … experience." _Okay_ , she thought, _mistake number one: picking this supply closet for a secret meeting. It is way too small. Way, way, waaay too small._ She could smell him, and he smelled … really good. Not like a ton of cologne, but, well, like a _guy _who works out a lot, but still practices good hygiene and washes his clothes once in a while, and apparently uses peppermint toothpaste. Or maybe just likes mints in general.__

___Anyway,_ thought Kara, twisting her fingers nervously. _This is not important right now. Deep breath. Okay._ "Cat Grant figured it out. She knows I'm Supergirl. What am I going to do?"_ _

__"Oh," said James._ _

__"Right. _Oh._ Seriously, what am I going to do? She could tell everyone. Literally. She could tell _everyone_ in the world with one stroke of a button. Or - technically, I guess it would take a bunch of strokes, but you know what I mean."_ _

__James folded his arms across his chest and leaned against a metal cabinet. "Do you think she will?"_ _

__Kara flung her hands wide, only narrowly avoiding knocking over several boxes of printer paper. "I don't know! I wish I did. She didn't _say_ she would after she figured it out. She didn't threaten or anything. She was actually…" She closed her eyes, remembering the unexpected warmth that had filled her when Cat called her Supergirl to her face, chasing away the icy waves of panic. "She was _nice_ , actually. Kind, even. Sometimes she's like that. Sometimes she's almost - I don't want to say nurturing, but … sometimes. Kind of. And then other times… I don't know. Supergirl's a story for her. She's _the_ big story of Cat Grant's career. She's her way of getting back at Perry White. I mean _I_ am. Crap." She pushed the heels of her palms against her forehead and made a strangled, frustrated sound with her throat. " _Crap._ "_ _

__"Hold on a sec." She heard a soft clang as he pushed away from the cabinet. Then he was standing very close, and his strong fingers were around her wrists, gently lowering her hands away from her face. She could have broken his grip with barely a shrug and they both knew it. Maybe that explained the sudden uncertainty in his big brown eyes._ _

___No,_ Kara thought, _that doesn't make any sense. I mean, he knows I'd never do that, even if I wanted to, which I never would. So, then why…?_ She realized that he was still holding her wrists._ _

__And he was talking. She'd already missed the first part of whatever he was trying to tell her, and the rest wasn't making any sense. It was like the pads of his thumbs, warm and smooth against her pulse, had short circuited something in her brain, rendering her incapable of understanding English. Which made no sense, unless it was a heretofore unknown flaw in Kryptonian genetics. Alex and Henshaw were going to be thrilled. _Oh, good_ , Kara thought: she was babbling in her own head and James was still talking, and she was probably going to have to come up with a response. Which wasn't the point. She'd asked him to meet her here so she could get his advice. He was trying to be helpful, soothing, and she wasn't even listening._ _

__Then - abruptly, it seemed - he closed his mouth and quirked his eyebrows at her expectantly._ _

__A few seconds skittered by, and she blinked up at him stupidly. "Huh?"_ _

__"What did you miss?"_ _

__"Just the last part," she lied. "Sorry, my brain was somewhere else. I thought I heard something, you know, with my super-hearing. Like an explosion."_ _

__He stepped back in alarm, dropping her wrists. ( _Oops,_ she thought.) "An explosion, seriously? Where? Do you need to--?" He pantomimed ripping open his shirt - which was really, _really_ not fair of him because now, of course, that was exactly what she was thinking about._ _

__"No, I didn't hear anything! I mean, for a second I thought I did, but it was nothing. Probably just someone dropping something heavy. No need to fly to the rescue. Sorry."_ _

__"Don't be sorry. Wow, you're really wound up tight - and I get it. This is a big thing. But what I was saying was, do you really think Cat Grant would use you like that? I mean, we both know she can be pretty cut-throat, but there's still something called ethics and standards in journalism. Kara Danvers is a private citizen, with the right to privacy. Grant knows that."_ _

__"Does she? Really?"_ _

__"You know her better than I do. C'mon, Kara. Think. Breathe. Inhale."_ _

__She bit her lips and sucked the air in through her nose._ _

__"Exhale."_ _

__She let it out in a gust that blew him back several paces. "Sorry."_ _

__"Don't be sorry, I said. C'mon, do it again. Inhale, exhale. It's gonna be okay. I bet I can find a paper bag somewhere in here if you need one."_ _

__She breathed in deeply again, and let it out - more slowly this time. "It's gonna be okay," she echoed faintly. Then, the instant it occurred to her: "What if I just told everyone?"_ _

__"Sorry, what?"_ _

__"What if I--" she gestured wildly "--I don't know, came out as Supergirl. What if I made a big announcement, you know, beat her to it. No, she'd hate me forever. What if I walked right into her office on Monday and told her go ahead? She could do it, but it would have to be on my terms. That way I'd still control the story. Sort of."_ _

__His brow creased and he made like he was going to step toward her again, but she had to keep a clear head, so, in order to evade him without making it _look_ like she was evading him, she started pacing - which was basically just walking in a circle, since it was only a small supply closet. _ _

__"Okay," James said slowly, the crease between his brows deepening as he no doubt began to question her sanity, "but is that really what you want? Think about it."_ _

__"I _am_ thinking about it." She stopped pacing and looked at him. "Really, what's the worst thing that could happen if everyone knew who I was? Would my family be in any more danger than they already are? Would anyone come after my family, knowing what I'd do to them when I caught them? If you were a supervillain, would you? Would Astra?" Her face went cold. Astra, she thought heavily, going after her adoptive mother. Or sending her minions; it didn't matter. Even if Kara was able to make her pay, Alex would never forgive her. Kara would never forgive herself._ _

__"It's a terrible idea," she whispered._ _

__"It's normal," James assured her. "It's a normal thing to want. I get it: it's hard maintaining two identities. Sometimes, they just wanna merge and you have to figure out what you're going to do, because it's your _life_. And that's the thing. I mean, I'll support you whatever you decide to do, but if you keep Supergirl and Kara Danvers separate, at least one of them gets to have a life."_ _

__"Really?" Kara looked up at him wearily. She was tired all of a sudden. Her extremities felt weighed with Kryptonite and all she wanted to do was slump over. She tried to smile. Judging by the look on his face, whatever it was she managed to achieve, it wasn't what she'd been going for. "I get to have a life? When? How? What kind of life?" She raised her hands to rub her temples. "How does my cousin do it?"_ _

__James shrugged. "He's strong, like you. He's got people in his corner, me and Lois. For what it's worth, you've got me too."_ _

__"Doesn't it tire you out?" she wondered. "Having to keep such huge secrets for people?"_ _

__"Nah," he said. "It's worth it."_ _

__"Getting the inside scoop?" She was half-teasing._ _

__"Being your _friend_ , dummy." His tone and his eyes were warm with affection. "Kara…"_ _

__"What?"_ _

__But he just stood there, quietly watching her, and she thought, _Nobody's around to give us poisoned glares. Anyway, who cares? We're friends._ In two hesitant strides, she had closed the small distance between them and put her arms around his waist. She felt the brief, sharp intake of his breath and then he was hugging her back tightly, his muscular arms easily enveloping her._ _

__She sighed and closed her eyes, wishing she could lean against him indefinitely. But someone somewhere was going to need rescuing at some point - or else they were going to need paper for the printer. She inhaled deeply then turned her head so her cheek was resting against his heart, and said, "I'll talk to Cat. I'll remind her I'm a private citizen, and that ethics exist, and she can't tell anyone."_ _

__"If that's what you want," murmured James. His breath tickled her forehead._ _

__"For now," she said, nodding (definitely not rubbing her cheek against his chest, because they were _friends_ and that would be _wrong_ )._ _

__"Okay. Just remember I'm in your corner."_ _

__"Like I could forget."_ _

__He kissed the top of her head lightly. Like a friend would. Totally. Then he cupped her shoulders and took a step back, smiling again, but with a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. After a moment he cleared his throat and jabbed his thumb at the door. "I'd better…"_ _

__"Me too."_ _

__"Thanks."_ _

__"What for?"_ _

__"I don't know," he said. "Trusting me. Being you."_ _

__"Back atcha." It was a stupid line and it came out stupidly. To hide her sudden flush, she made a production of fiddling with her glasses, accidentally-deliberately knocking them askew with her knuckle, then very carefully readjusting them on the bridge of her nose. By the time she looked up again, his back was to her and his hand was on the door handle._ _

__She watched him until he was out of sight, and then she sighed again, deflated. In the empty supply closet, her own words echoed back at her: _I get to have a life? When? How? What kind of life?__ _

__"That's what I need to figure out," she said to herself. "Later. First I have to talk to Cat. Okay." She gave herself a little shake. "Here I go. Breathe, Kara." She gulped down a mouthful of air, then threw back her shoulders, pretending her hair was unbound and that she had a long red cape streaming behind her. Then she strode purposefully through the doorway._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually say where I get my titles from (it's just a thing with me, don't ask) but this one is from [Offering and Rebuff](http://hellopoetry.com/poem/15768/offering-and-rebuff/) by Carl Sandberg.


End file.
